Our recent road trip to Muskoka has left me with over 400 photos to choose from this Wednesday. How does one choose? Sure many of them are out of focus, the kids are making questionable gestures in frustration of “another” photo…..and yet the decision wasn’t going to be easy.
And then while I was browsing through the pics this one struck me.
During the long car ride I was snapping pics of road signs, the changes in scenery and the girls in the back seat hoping to document the entire loud, frustrating journey with 3 trapped children.
We were travelling down a cottage country road when suddenly we saw this beautiful creature crossing the road. Hubby slowed immediately and we stopped in the middle of the road so I could get the “perfect” shot.
All five of us packed into that car sat silently watching the deer, admiring the beauty and grace of her quiet movements. We waited with baited breath to see how long she would stand there, allowing us to share her space. I snapped away, zooming and focusing carefully not entirely certain I was capturing the moment.
At one point she looked up and seemed to look directly into the camera, I had just zoomed in and was convinced I’d gotten the shot I had been hoping for; the shot which would show the depth of her languorous gaze.
I hadn’t had time until this morning to review the photos and when I did here is what I had captured.
Son of a gun doesn’t seem to cut the emotion I felt rising within myself. I was so disappointed, how had I not realized these branches and leaves were in the way? I could have snapped more, I had plenty of time and yet I didn’t, it didn’t even occur to me because I had no idea there was an obstruction.
This photo has me thinking about how often we are blocked in our lives without even realizing it.
For myself there are many times in my life when I failed to pay attention to a situation properly and have failed because of it.
Is there something blocking you from living life “out loud”, from achieving a true balance?
Are you carrying baggage which is affecting you today?
Have you truly found your purpose?
Isn’t it worth it to look and see what is blocking you from doing so?
When I performed an inventory on my behaviors and resentments it quickly became clear to me that my biggest “block” in my life was based in fear. Fear of other people’s opinions, fear of the loss of control, fear of the unknown, fear, fear, fear.
All of the energy I spent worrying about things was wasted, the majority of things I worried about were truly out of my control.
I have learned how to let go of the fear, to sincerely give up my efforts at controlling everything and turn that over to God. It’s been an exhausting effort at times, this is a constant, conscious action and yet it’s been freeing.
I now allow myself to experience the let-downs, feel the emotion and learn from my experiences without taking it on as a failure.
I’m human and I’m fallible, God knows this and expects mistakes and the growth which comes from them. As I continue to breathe and walk in God’s word He is teaching me. As long as I make certain I’m not blocked I can learn and mature.
By trusting in God and His will, my journey has become less obstructed and I am able to clearly see the beauty amidst the debris.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
AA Big Book, p. 76
We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all – every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.