Okay day 2 of the blog life, I must say there is a ton of amazing blogs to read. Amazing meaning: witty, funny, gross, challenging, thought provoking, sad, misdirected….frankly almost any adjective I can come up with and yes I’m using a Thesaurus.
Today I have been reflecting on my Journey thus far and have to say I’ve had it good but often was so wrapped up in self and the evils of to notice.
Since as far back as I remember I needed to be the best at everything I tried….grade 1 it was rollerskating. My sister (3 years older) and I had the white roller skates with bright red fuzzy covers and would put an LP on our wonderful portable record player and head down to the unfinished basement to practice our routines.
My sister was quite the choreographer, we put on quite elaborate shows which the local kids paid to see (she was an entrepreneur too). The thing is I didn’t practice for the love of rollerskating, even at this young age I just wanted to perfect the moves and be the “best”. I remember the time fondly, grooving to Mini Pops and perfecting the slide ending to “Whip It” but I also remember going into school and lying to my friends telling them that I was taking Disco Rollerskating lessons. Seriously?
Wait, Disco was somewhat cool still (a necessary disclaimer)
Our small town didn’t even have a roller rink.
SO my rambling point is: I have a character defect: I tend not to enjoy the moment or accept my achievements. Even at 7 years old I wasn’t happy that I’d practiced and learned something new, it wasn’t “enough” in my own mind.
I’ve learned so much since walking through the door at my first meeting which was the day after I picked up my Bible and dusted it off.
Here just 2 things of many:
God loves variety and he made me unique, complex and for His purpose!
Psalm 139:13 (NLT), “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.”
Vs. 14 (NLT), “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous- how well I know it!.”
Fear and Pride are a waste and impede my purpose.
From the AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 123:
“We have had a much keener look at ourselves and those about us. We have seen that we were prodded by unreasonable fears or anxieties into making a life business of winning fame, money, and what we thought was leadership. So false pride became the reverse side of that ruinous coin marked “Fear.” We simply had to be Number One people to cover up our deep-lying inferiorities.”
Page 124, 125:
“True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the profound desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.”
This blog has gotten serious…ish but I really challenge everyone to slow down, accept yourself, enjoy the gifts and talents we are given. I don’t mean avoid challenges or development but LOVE yourself just as God does…..