Are you honest?
Perhaps you’ve faced this question before, in a job interview, a questionnaire or another fact gathering situation where the party presenting it doesn’t know you.
Of course we answer with an emphatic YES, especially when we are facing someone who could affect our lives. When a teacher suspects a student of cheating she rarely bothers asking the question, wouldn’t make sense would it?

I typed “are you honest” into Google to see what would come up; I found the majority of first page of results were in some way titles such as “How Honest Are You?” Apparently honesty can be measured on a scale.
Do you measure the honesty of people in your lives?
Do you gauge a person’s character?
Of course you do!
There isn’t a single Mother who doesn’t judge a daycare provider’s character, honesty and integrity.
There isn’t a single person who doesn’t judge the honesty of a friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, parent, teacher or boss…anyone who has a vested interest in our lives.
We do it daily, over time and we’re often unaware of it.
We evaluate others by using our own personalities, perceptions, beliefs to measure, compare, contrast etc through communication. Different people may have different perceptions of the personality of the same person based upon their own gauges and their interactions with that one person.
What if our basis of measure is dishonest?
What if our own personality is flawed? Have we changed over time by behavior, environment and life without us noticing it?
Have you ever over-exaggerated your achievements, feeling this was excusable because there was no way anyone would find out?
Did you return to the store when the cashier inadvertently gave you too much change?
When offered the items which “fell off the truck” did you purchase them?
When in dire financial straits did you accept paid work while accepting financial assistance from a government organization? Do you download “free” music online which you know isn’t considered “free” by the artist or record company?Each of these examples are relatively tame on the scale of what defines honesty…..or are they?

Personally my view of honesty within my own life has changed drastically through performing a personal inventory. I realized that although I didn’t often speak lies,  I was consistently self-serving. I could bend the truth to suit my needs easily. Manipulation of the truth within my own moral compass was a regular occurrence for me.

This was one of my character defects which I asked God to relieve me of.
I worked hard to rid myself of this behavior, consistently being honest with myself, in tune with my desires, emotions and expectations of others.

The day came where I couldn’t justify any of the above questions having an answer of yes.

It was one of those uncomfortable times, when I shouted in rebellion at God.
“Are you serious God, you really want me to pay for songs on my iPhone that I hear for free on the radio? Seriously is this necessary, haven’t I changed enough?”

It was like He was patiently nodding at me, that nagging feeling in my gut made me shut down the pirate site and head on over to iTunes.

My perspective on honesty had changed.

I don’t measure honesty against other people’s perception anymore; I measure it against God’s now.

After living with this new level of honesty in my life for some time now it’s easier. Sure there are times when I still have an internal toddler style temper tantrum at God but ultimately my view and expectation of myself hasn’t changed.

Have you been rigorously honest with yourself lately; do you have the integrity you desire in others?

Deuteronomy 25:15-16
You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. For the LORD your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.

AA – AS BILL SEES IT, p. 17

The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. . . . When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God.

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22 Responses

  1. i love that daily reflection. it's just eerie how that book hits the nail on the head so often. well maybe since i definitely earned my seat in the rooms it's not so strange :) loved this post

  2. Great post! I stumbled across addressing my honesty when I came to Christ, and I noticed it simultaneously as I went through AA steps. I am amazed how often so many of the concepts parallel each other through Christianity and AA. Of course honesty is something everyone should strive for, but I don't think too many people take an inside look at themselves. This was an awesome perspective.Thanks for posting this. :-)

  3. Very Nice Post;Isn't it true, We must guage our own integrity by our God and That truth that lies in each of us. As we progress through the Program of Recovery laid out in the 12 steps, The Road becomes narrower and narrower, however the rewards are astoundong

  4. I try to be very honest now…it's the stuff i was dishonest about then, how do you handle that? The lies are still hanging there. Do you reveal them all, continue to cover them, or keep putting it off?

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